A tale of unicornish bayonets with regard to the versedness therein between they and teal staves of underlying punishment...

Alas, great fellows of the willow land. I crawled forth from under one great rock today, thus it has been over one year since I submerged myself in a dark world of inspiration and hellish fear. But alas, not all is well, for on this morn' I stepped headstrong on the life of an insect as it squirmed accidentally, beneath the insole of my sandal. My condolences were with the gods of a six-legged heaven on this morning. I mourned so great, the morning receded in fear and surely I was soon to follow.

I was ambushed...

Out of anger, three carpenters of the ant variety, monumental as vehicles, marched forth in sidestepping stride to make lunch of me, but I befell them, a sorrowful man, one of much regret and misunderstanding for how such putrid accident could be karmatically granted upon such innocent human life by such inhumane, torturous gods. They would not have any pleas. Nor would they spare much of my left shoulder. Even a man whose knees had grown a part of earth, even a helpless, defenseless apologetic fraction of a man would be shown no mercy...

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I whipped off my prosthetic shoulder shield that I had used to bait the ants into warfare and from beneath my flowing aqua cape, I revealed the dainty, yet dangerously impressive shine of my dandeloon rapier! I fluttered my cutlass of intimidation to and fro, darting forth and striking thine first enemy directly in the ocellus(forehead of an ant) as yellow [once]life juice squirted upon my brow; a sign of early victory and a tactical maneuver of fear to my remaining opponents.

I laughed into the eyes of my remaining adversaries and with one fell swoop, I lunged my right fist into the clypeus(nasal region of an ant) of my second foe, crushing his sense of smell. Thence upon my one-step retreat I grabbed firmly, the antennae of my opposition and ripped like the roots of a weed from his endoskull, those fuzzy telendricals.

With my first opposer dead and the second slowly draining on the grassy floor, I engaged in eye contact (do ants even have eyesight?) with my final foe. I withdrew from my knapsack of unalienable fortitude, my teal unicornish howler conch, equipped with a six inch bayonet on one end. I tooted my horn and alerted my enemy of my seriousness. I bent down and withdrew a few blades of grass, placing them on my tongue so as to savor the taste of the air...

As I grew ready to strike my final nemesis, I ran at an unmistakable pace toward him with my dagger-like conch drawn toward his fearful expression. As I grew nearer, I was interrupted in thought by a shadow moving swiftly through the trees above and before I could reach my target I was struck upside my temple by a cloaked man, shorter than me, but much much faster. I arose to my feet and extended my sword once again from its sheath, watching the silence of the ant to anticipate any trick that may be executed. The cloaked figure slowly emerged from what seemed like right in front of me but I couldn't make sense of it, so I disregarded it. He removed his hood and underneath I saw a face, similar to mine.

He said "I am Elie, protector of the willow forest creatures of extremely huge size and distinct odor." I smiled and extended my introductions to him, all the while keeping an eye on my opposition behind him. "You must understand, they know no better. They were only doing what their instincts told them to."
I raised my brow, "you know this how?"
"Nevermind that, only I can communicate with them at this time, but it has been forseen that much danger rests in your near but distant future. Therefore my new friend, I have calmed this creature and have made it an ally of yours, a loyal servant so long as you swear to protect it as it does you."

"I am humbled by your strange nature fair Elie, you are not battle-oriented like most things that fly at me from the inside of trees."

"I am peace, here to teach you friendship."
With that Elie was gone, and I remained with my new companion.

"What shall we name you my friend? DRUNE perhaps? Speak up if you hear something you like." I chuckled heartily to myself.

"And sorry about your friends."

It was at that moment, DRUNE and I receded into the dark shadows of the sunset, awaiting tomorrow's challenges and trivializations.